Author: Have You Seen This?

166 – Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Russell Crowe aboard the Surprise in Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

Tim and Jen discuss a beloved epic whose time has come, the Peter Weir masterpiece Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World!

The GQ article mentioned appears to be yet more proof of the widespread affection for this film.

The doctor who pioneered sanitary practices in medicine was Ignatz Semmelweiss, although these ideas didn’t take hold until the time of Joseph Lister. Additionally, other medical men (like Oliver Wendell Holmes, for one) arrived at similar notions independent of Semmelweiss. The latter, in fact, refused to publish anything about hand washing because he believed these practices to be “self-evident.”

If you want to read about Grover Cleveland getting surgery at sea and see some icky-yet-illumunating photos, the New York Academy of Medicine has a good blog post about it. If you want more, the book Jen mentioned is called The President is a Sick Man, and author Matthew Algeo answered questions about it in this C-SPAN presentation.

And finally, if you love Russell Crowe as much as we do, listen to our chat about an early starring role for him, Virtuosity!

165 – I Know Who Killed Me

A Sphynx cat wearing a blue collar at the top of a staircase. It has very prominent testicles.
this is the most important shot in the movie

Jen is defeated by the ostensible low point of Lindsay Lohan’s onscreen career, I Know Who Killed Me, while Tim cuts right through the Gordian knot that is the movie’s storyline. Also Jen vents her disappointment over a director she actually likes(?), sorta.

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Someone actually tracked down the screenwriter, Jeff Hammond, and got him to open up a little about the production: 

I avoided reading most of the reviews; however, it was impossible not to be aware of the negative consensus. I forced myself to read the ones that mentioned me by name (linked from Google notifications). That made for a handful of ugly reads. It’s a difficult thing for a writer to be accused in print of being tone-deaf. 

His account is interesting, but there’s no revelatory info about the “themes” or “story,” because these things are about as one-dimensional as you might have guessed.

Charles Bramesco also made a case in the Guardian for the movie. You can probably chalk that up to personal preference more than a love of great cinema.

164 – The Night Stalker

Darren McGavin in character as Carl Kolchak
king

Tim and Jen host steadfast friend of the show mugrimm to talk about a pervasively influential TV movie that spawned the cult series Kolchak: The Night Stalker. Also, in this episode you can learn more about Pervy the Clown…if you dare.

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If you love Kolchak’s sad little hat, you can get one!

The Slate article quibbling about Fletch (the 1985 film starring Chevy Chase) may be read here, if you enjoy the Slate brand of whiny crap.

For mugrimm’s previous appearance on the show, check out our episode on the M.A.N.T.I.S. TV movie! 

163 – Freejack

German poster for Freejack (1992)

Jen and Tim jack freely over a rote 1992 sci-fi action thriller, Freejack, starring Emilio Estevez and Mick Jagger. Your hosts kind of forget to talk about Jagger, but Tim does reminisce fondly about Four Loko.

Jen says “Psycho Ninja” when she was actually thinking of Psycho Kickboxer. The latter film is absolutely delightful, by the way.

If you’re curious about the gory details of Denise Richards’ divorce from Charlie Sheen, you can read them here, directly from the court document.

162 – Body of Evidence

Tim and Jen remain in the 90s for a look at a dire courtroom drama leavened with gauzy sex scenes, the 1992 Madonna vehicle Body of Evidence.

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There are no page numbers in Madonna’s book Sex, but it doesn’t take long to flip through on the Internet Archive if you want to see her eating pizza in the nude!

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 writers beat Jen to it with a panoply of fake erotic thriller names during the credits for Outlaw [of Gor], episode 519. A personal favorite: “Murder Most Moist.”

the Julianne Moore face Tim was talking about

161 – Virtuosity

Russell Crowe menaces a hapless TV technician with a gun against a blue background in Virtuosity (1995)

Jen and Tim nineties nineties nineties nineties Denzel Washington nineties nineties virtual reality, nineties Russell Crowe nineties, nineties nineties nineties Virtuosity nineties!

Hear the whole episode over at our Patreon!

Read the AV Club interview with Kelly Lynch where she describes Denzel’s motive for doctoring the script for Virtuosity, as mentioned in the episode.

Per Tim’s recommendation, you could do a search on the World Wide Web, or you can check out an article about Kai’s Power Tools if you’d like to see some screenshots of that bonkers interface! 

Also, if you missed it the first time around, listen to our episode about The Lawnmower Man, another cheesy 90s film from the director of Virtuosity.

160 – The Ghost and the Darkness

Val Kilmer, John Kani, and Michael Douglas in The Ghost and the Darkness (1996)

Tim and Jen enlist animal expert Emma Bowers (Hyenas and Gin on YouTube) to explain why the fascinating story of two man-eating lions resulted in a boring movie called The Ghost and the Darkness.

Watch a 1996 documentary about the man-eaters of Tsavo, which includes brief interviews with stars Kilmer and Douglas and director Stephen Hopkins. One interviewee theorizes that the local lions’ taste for human flesh stems from generations of slave traders who left injured or dying captives to their fate in the bush.

This 1996 Entertainment Weekly article sums up how bad Val Kilmer’s reputation got to be in Hollywood.

As Richard Stanley, who directed Kilmer for three days in The Island of Dr. Moreau before being fired, recalls, “Val would arrive, and an argument would happen.” Says John Frankenheimer, who replaced Stanley: “I don’t like Val Kilmer, I don’t like his work ethic, and I don’t want to be associated with him ever again.” And Batman Forever director Joel Schumacher calls his onetime star “childish and impossible.”

Entertainment Weekly, May 31st, 1996

You can watch the tiger attack video Tim mentioned, with added context. Rawr!

There’s even a mineral named Tsavorite which was discovered in Tanzania and named in honor of the area.

Finally, listen to our episode on the shockingly ill-conceived movie Roar, with special guest Emma!

159 – Blonde

Ana de Armas as Marilyn Monroe in Andrew Dominik's Blonde (2022)

Jen and Tim welcome returning guest Darren Herczeg to go to bat for an almost universally loathed Netflix feature, Blonde. Naturally, the trio revel in the film’s grotesque and overt misogyny while twirling their mustaches.

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Jessica Kiang’s review of Blonde over at Film Comment sums up the critical reaction well:

Dominik’s film is a technical marvel, but it’s cold and not a little sinister. It’s also an utterly heartless hoodwink.

There’s no word on whether or not the French documentary that revealed the identity of Marilyn’s biological father will screen in the US. However, according to Variety, an English-language version exists and has been sold to international distributors.

Darren previously appeared on the show to talk about the film Michael Mann refuses to talk about, The Keep!

158 – Gymkata

That guy isn’t even American!

Tim and Jen try and fail to recall the name of Olympian swimmer Michael Phelps as they discuss Olympian gymnast Kurt Thomas’s sole feature film, Gymkata.

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Jen’s half-assed inaccurate anecdote about Phelps being considered to play Tarzan is actually true, albeit not the way she told it. Producer Jerry Weintraub (no relation to Gymkata producer Fred Weintraub) believed that he’d found the new Johnny Weissmuller in Phelps. However, the swimmer’s appearance on SNL in 2008 immediately disabused him of that notion, as Phelps appeared to Weintraub as little more than a “goon.” 

Seven-time Olympic gold medalist Mark Spitz has only five minor credits on IMDb, incidentally, none of which involve starring in a feature film. In case you were wondering.

You can hear our interview with martial arts superstar Cynthia Rothrock here!