children Archives - Have You SEEN This?

229 – Christmas Evil

Tim and Jen cover an unusual holiday movie that features a man beaten down by an uncaring society enough to become a self-appointed assassin. Wait, what year is this? It’s 1980 and this is Christmas Evil!

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There is a whole ass website about Whamageddon with the ruleset and everything, if you’d like to play or simply to inform yourself. We won’t be participating, though, because we love Wham! too much to refrain from listening to them. You could also listen to this “Last Christmas”-free megamix!

Need more gimmicky costumed killers? Listen to our episode on the Terrifier movies, but be warned: we don’t care for that clown at all.

228 – Toys

Jen and Tim grit their teeth through Barry Levinson’s oppressively whimsical passion project that literally no one liked, Toys. Also, take a drink every time we use a variant of the word “whimsy,” but please drink responsibly!

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Roger Ebert penned a more measured analysis of the film back in 1992:

There’s a curious residue of dissatisfaction after “Toys” is over. It opened so well and promised so much that we’re confused: Is that all there is?

Listen to Tim’s favorite song from the movie, “Happy Workers” sung by Tori Amos.

See the (in)famous Toys teaser trailer on YouTube.

Does it tickle you when Tim gets a real wild hair about a movie? Check out our collection of episodes with the succinct title Tim Hated It!

225 – Children of the Stones

Tim takes the reins to enthuse about a shockingly creepy British TV series for kids (?!), Children of the Stones.

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Watch the entirety of Children of the Stones on YouTube!

Hear the Reese Shearsmith-led podcast adaptation of Children of the Stones over at the Beeb.

Want more folk horror? Sample our collection of same!

221 – Art Clokey and Gumby Dharma

Jen and Tim return to Gumbasia to discuss the legacy of a complicated man: Gumby creator Art Clokey!

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The documentary that sparked the discussion, Gumby Dharma, may be viewed free on YouTube via the channel for Bay Area PBS station KQED.

Pay a visit to Clokey Productions to see some behind-the-scenes footage!

Here’s an example of that Lego wizard hat thing Tim mentioned. Clever!

If you missed our episode on The Gumby Movie(aka Gumby 1), listen to it here!

209 – The Gumby Movie

Well now you've just made him mad — No mortal blade can stop Gumby

Jen and Tim journey to Gumbasia to experience the vision of a lovable madman, The Gumby Movie, aka Gumby 1!

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The story of Henrietta Lacks and the immortal cell line that bears her name is a remarkable one, encompassing topics of institutionalized racism, scientific ethics, and medical marvels. Adam Curtis made a fine documentary about Lacks and the HeLa line of cells in 1997 for the BBC.

The video for “All The Things She Said” by Simple Minds presents a fine example of the then-cutting-edge video work of filmmaker Zbigniew Rybczyński.

And after you’ve seen that, really blow your mind with Charles and Ray Eames’s head-spinning 1977 short, Powers of Ten!

194 – The Adventures of Ragtime

Tim wisely goes absent with leave as Jen invites Bitter Karella to the necropsy of a dire children’s film from 1998, The Adventures of Ragtime.

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Should you wish to self-harm, you can watch the full movie (with helpful timecode) at Showcase Entertainment’s channel on YouTube.

Is it crass to post this screenshot of Shelley Long from the movie? Yeah, probably. Has that ever stopped us?

See photos of Ragtime at a very Web 1.0 site that his caregivers appear to have left up as a memorial to the tiny stallion.

For some more grown-up yet still juvenile horse content, listen to our Hot to Trot episode!

184 – Clifford

Pure evil or sublime comedy? The two are closer than you might think.

Jen and Tim come to a tenuous agreement about a once universally loathed Martin Short comedy, Clifford. Also, Tim punches down ruthlessly on a twenty pound miniature pinscher [who could lose a little weight].

Reggie, an asshole minpin — This dog is an asshole.

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The Slate article about Martin Short that riled everyone up may be found here, but if you want to skip right to the synchronized swimming sketch from SNL, you can watch it on Vimeo.

The Vulture oral history of the making, the release, and the eventual cult fandom around Clifford is as exhaustive a history of the film as one may be expected to tolerate.

DNA specialists identified the Boy in the Box as Joseph Augustus Zarelli, 65 years after his death (be careful if you search for info on the case; the police distributed postmortem photos shortly after he was found in an attempt to generate leads).

Tim is beside himself that Clifford is not this movie.

While Clifford is the exception, why not check out one of our several other episodes about traumatizing children? Or look at this awful little kid from Woodchipper Massacre?

167 – The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T

Tommy Rettig in The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T (1953)

Jen and Tim talk about a truly weird musical fantasia from the mind of beloved children’s author Dr. Seuss— The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.

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So much of this episode wouldn’t exist without the superlative work of Seuss biographer Brian Jay Jones. His book Becoming Dr. Seuss: Theodor Geisl and the Making of an American Imagination highlights Geisl’s creativity and enduring legacy in popular literature. Jones talked in depth about the life of Dr. Seuss on the Our American Stories podcast (listen to our show first though lol).

The charming animated short Gerald McBoing-Boing may be viewed on YouTube.

Jen mentioned the Australian child murderer (and worse) Mr. Cruel— see the legitimately terrifying police sketch of the suspect at Wikipedia, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.

And yes, we highly recommend that calendar Rifftrax short we mentioned, whether you like to laugh, or if you’re just genuinely confused about how to use a calendar!

152 – Spaced Invaders

Jen and Tim enjoy a silly 1990 comedy with startlingly good practical effects, Spaced Invaders!

Hear the whole thing at our Patreon!

Director/writer Patrick Read Johnson’s long-gestating nostalgia trip, 5-25-77, will be released on DVD and Blu-ray on November 22, 2022. In the meantime, you can read Karina Longworth’s review of a cut of the film in 2008 from the now-defunct Sprout Blog. The director left a comment rebutting some of her criticism there (thank you, Internet Archive).

This Slate article sums up the probable facts behind the “War of the Worlds mass panic” myth quite well.

The song from Jeff Wayne’s Musical Version of the War of the Worlds that Jen was talking about is “The Artilleryman and the Fighting Machine.” Ulla!

151 – Return to Oz

Tim and Jen start spooky season early with a shockingly dark release from Disney, Return to Oz.

Jen forgot to mention that the main reason the film does not resembles the MGM film from 1939 apart from the Ruby Slippers™ is because all of the trappings of the MGM version were and are copyrighted. In fact, Disney had to shell out to use that plot device in the film. Hence, while Walter Murch’s desire to make a movie closer in spirit to the L. Frank Baum material is admirable, it most likely played second fiddle to the demands of copyright law.

Additionally, the movie finally made a profit from a 1949 re-release, not “like twenty years later” or whatever Jen glibly claimed.

Animator Doug Aberle made a video where he talks about his process for animating the demise of the Nome King. Plus, he includes interviews with the late Will Vinton.

If you want more details about the drama between Sarah Polley and Terry Gilliam, you can read an excerpt from her memoir here.